Description

At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me . Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost one million people follow Mr Halpern s philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair ; and this is the sort of shit he says… You know, sometimes it s nice having you around. But now ain t one of those times. Now gimme the remote, we re not watching this bullshit . Happy Birthday, I didn t get you a present…Oh, mom got you one? Well, that s from me then, too – unless it s shitty . Your brother brought his baby over this morning.
He told me it could stand. It couldn t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down . The worst thing you can be is a liar…Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2 . Why the fuck would I want to live to 100? I m 73 and shit s starting to get boring. By the way, there s no money left when I go, just fyi .